Life

My Mother

"If a Mother's success is to be measured by whether she teaches her child that he or she can do whatever they put their minds to, she is a triumphant Mother. -My Mother" Screen shot 2014-11-11 at 6.10.52 PM

People said I was crazy to go from Medicine to Art School, people said I was crazy to have babies 18 months apart, people said I was crazy to start and release a magazine well into my third trimester...people say a lot of things. The words of others can stop you dead in your tracks, they can make you turn around, rethink a decision, and doubt yourself, no not me. I'll reach higher than the highest tree, and farther than I think possible, because my Mother told me I could. She set no limits to what I could achieve, no bounds to what I could accomplish. She only told me to go, go out, and everything you touch, everything you do, do it with your whole heart, utilize all your God given talents to their fullest and upmost potential. I am what I am, I do what I do, because SHE said I could. If I could be half, a quarter, a smidgen of the women she is...I will have succeeded. I'm blessed to have a Mother like her, one day my children will see, they'll see just how amazing their Grandmother (Gaga) truly is.

Saying Yes

Screen shot 2014-09-29 at 12.30.17 PM We went to the grand opening of a local women's health/birthing center to support my husband over the weekend. Of course I wanted Elly to look her best, but donkey rides, sidewalk chalk, fried pickles, bounce houses, and sticky treats had other ideas. The desire to pick her up and dust her off every five seconds was very real...but watching her enjoy life to the fullest, running around with other children, wrapped in laughter made me take pause. What is childhood without green knees from freshly cut grass, or sticky remnants of bright red Popsicles stuck to their cheeks? They don't care about their new shoes, or keeping up appearances. Life is there simply to be LIVED! So I said yes to the mess, yes to making her childhood everything it should be, yes to living, I mean really living. Because you only get one childhood and she deserves nothing less.

This moment

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...In a moment, the tears, the sleepless nights, the doubt, the "am I a good mother?", the tantrums, all my frustrations, the "hard" part of motherhood, is washed away. All that's left is the beauty, the enchanting, spellbinding beauty of this moment.

seasons of change

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{There is something deep within us that sobs at endings. Why, God, does everything have to end? Why does all nature grow old? Why do spring and summer have to go? ~ Joe Wheeler}

How her hand fits in mine, the way the mist smells rolling off the sea, the sound of her tiny feet stepping in the sand, a summer I will always remember.

forgivness

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{To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes}

Forgiveness is not only something we should show others, we must also learn how to forgive ourselves. Just as He has forgiven us, time and time again. Motherhood, parenthood for that matter, with all it's blessings will test the very fibers of your being. It can unravel you like thread on a spool, and bring you to your breaking point.

We all have moments where we fail, or rather flail at parenting, moments where we'd like to lock ourselves in a closet and just cry by ourselves for a moment. Some days I lay in bed thinking, "man, I rocked this parenting thing today!" While others I lay defeated, desperately attempting to get a rambunctious toddler to sleep, watching as the minutes and hours tic away, dreading the rising sun.

Dawn, it brings with it new beginnings, a fresh start, a new day, a chance to rock the heck out of this parenting gig. Forgive yourself for yesterday, because well, today is a blessing, it's brand new day

A collection of tiny things

Screen shot 2014-09-22 at 2.29.04 PM Remembering the gentle newness of a newborn, the way their toes curl wildly, the way they tuck their legs so closely to themselves, the way they smell of sweet sweet milk, and the delicious tiny sounds they make. Was it so long ago that I first held my daughter in my arms? Reveling in all that was her, all that was me, and all that was my husband. Was it so long ago that I was afraid to change her clothes for fear of making her the slightest bit uncomfortable? Was it so long ago that I held the world, and thought that it couldn't get any better than this? Fond memories surrounding me like mist, preparing me once again for new life.

Life, flying past me at a blistering pace, hardly giving me a moments pause to daydream of what's to come, or to prepare fully for life again with a newborn. This is not my first, there is no massive buying spree, no classes to take, no furniture to paint, only the unwrapping of bassinets, and baby swings. So when these precious little things arrived today and that same giddy, nervous, excited feeling came flooding back I took pause. With them came thoughts of who this little person growing inside me will be, thoughts of love and labor, tears and joy. Images of placing these tiny booties on even tinier feet for the first time, caused my heart to swell and my eyes to fill with tears. Just for a moment, in the craziness of life while raising a toddler I had my moment, the one that ties you ever so closely to the one you've yet to meet.

Crawling « Cribs « Teeth « & Tears

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I'm not much of a cryer, but I cried today. Twice actually, the second as I write this.

I remember in the beginning I wished for the infant stage to be over with. Colic ran my life, and sleep depravation consumed me. I couldn't wait until solids, crawling and a little independence. This little meatball was testing every fiber of my being, I was ready for the next stage. Well here we are...

This weekend was a weekend of firsts.

 

She's crawling now, I mean really crawling. Her world has grown, and she's into everything. 

 She cut her first tooth, not good news for my boobs, though I wouldn't have it any other way.

 She pulled herself up in her crib, so my husband lowered the crib.

 ~

We went to the park to enjoy what was left of our weekend. I watched as she crawled/scooted around, picking up this leaf and that. Carefully studying the little treasures she'd find. Everything was new, everything was magic. On our way home she quietly fell asleep, heavy against my chest, snug in her sling. I laid her down in her crib, her crib that once held her tiny swaddled self, the crib I slept in as a child. As the last of the sunlight crept behind the hills, I looked down at the not so tiny creature I created, and cried.

I cried because I realized this was it. This is the feeling... this is why mothers have tears in their eyes as their once babies walk, run, drive, graduate, marry, and have babies of their own. 

 Make that 3 times I've cried today. 

~K

 

2. The Three of Us

I always imagined my life as a single, a lone, wandering, picture taking, jetsetter. Following along where my heart and camera led me, belonging to no one but myself and God. I thought that was the life, the perfect life, only because I couldn't fathom how amazing life could be with a husband by my side and a baby on my back. If only I knew then what I know now. I'm still jet setting, wandering and picture taking, only with an amazing little family in tow. They say don't look at life through rose colored glasses...they must not have had kids.

 

Top 10 Blessings of 2013 from Krystal Donovan Photography on Vimeo.