Rain

 "We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." ~Laura Stavoe Harm}

Rain is a stranger here, we don't always get the chance to stand in the midst of it as the earth rinses itself free of what we've left here.

Every time I've birthed a child, it's rained an out of nowhere rain. So when I woke up to the sweet sound of the life giving liquid hitting our roof while laying between the best parts of me, I smiled.

No matter how scarred we leave this earth, it will always heal itself, rinsing away the remnants of damage.

My journey to healing starts in this moment, standing here in the middle of the road, the rain rinsing away the hurt, the scars, the pain left by a birth that was out of my control. I refuse to let the fear define me, or take away the wonderment that is birth. I must show myself grace so that I can heal, so that I can breath easy, so that I can bear whatever comes next. Being strong sometimes means admitting weakness, fear, and all the things that hold you back from truly living.

There will be time for tears, I will wobble, I will have my moments...but not here, not in this space. Because today unlike the days I've brought life to this earth, this rain...this rain is for me.